Is That a Bone in My Toothpaste?

Back in my day, yes when I was young, there were many things that seemed simpler. Many things have changed, and we all think it might be for convenience, but I just have to wonder what REALLY happened.

For instance, tubes of toothpaste used to be made of tin and lead. As you squirted out toothpaste day after day, you could start to crimp the bottom of the tube up and, as you used more and more toothpaste, the tube would shorten as you rolled the bottom up toward the top.

You can’t do that today. Oh, you can press it up from the bottom…and even roll it up, but as soon as you let go, the tube goes back as it was before you rolled it and you might have to reroll that day after day. And I checked - it does NOT count as exercise!

Now, it is difficult to say whether the lead that our toothpaste used to come in had any ill-effects on the children of that era. I recall something about lead in paint and some kids eating paint chips, causing serious side-effects and maladies. But I guess it was safe to squirt toothpaste into your mouth that came from lead containers. I turned out as I did!

So, what happened to those containers? I could have gone on a mad, internet tear and blamed the plastics industry and toothpaste manufacturers for scheming to reduce costs through plastic replacement. But I fought that temptation and actually did some research.

Seems like World War II is to blame. The need for metal during that time moved the War Production Board to restrict the use of aluminum and lead, among other metals, so those resources could be used in the war effort. That led to a temporary toothpaste crisis, much like the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2019. It all seems to come back to the bathroom, doesn’t it?

Let’s pause for a moment though to explore why toothpaste was ever PUT into a tube in the first place. According to history, a Connecticut dentist, Dr. Washington Sheffield, introduced collapsible metal toothpaste tubes in 1892. He had sent his son over to Paris to study painting and was intrigued that paint came in collapsible metal tubes. Before Sheffield’s “paste”, people used to use tooth powder.

Eeeewwwwwww! Tooth powder was first used in ancient times by the Greeks and Romans to clean their teeth and freshen their breath. But what they used to make it is somewhat gross and for some reason I don’t know what kind of after taste there must have been! They used charcoal or fireplace ash with ground up bones, hoofs and oyster shells, so basically everything left over from the orgy.

So, back to WWII and the lack of metal for toothpaste tubes. Sunscreen was being sold in polyethylene containers, so a few companies tried that, but for some reason the toothpaste reacted to that particular kind of plastic and bad things happened. Eventually someone found a good way to use a combination of aluminum and plastic and everyone once again had toothpaste and could stop grinding up bones and hoofs.

I also miss popsicles with paper wrappers rather than plastic or cellophane. How about berries sold in paper containers rather than plastic?

Let’s end with a little “aging” poem from Joe Alpaca.

I used to groan when people were stupid

And I would follow with a frown

But now my groans are all used up

By getting up and down

I used to buy a showcase car

That most cars couldn’t beat

But now speed has been replaced

By the need for a heated seat

I used to come and go at will

No plans, no need to wait

But now I travel around my need

To constantly urinate

Don’t get me wrong, a long life is great

The alternative it will always beat

But I’d surely like to stretch my legs

Without getting cramps in my feet

But I like when lunch is whenever I want

And I am with the love of my life

No regrets that I married a friend

Who is also my lovely wife!